I think Ryan and I have gypsy blood in us, we were already talking about where we want to live next! I think our heart is set on the East Coast- NY, PA, CT, MA, MN, DC any of those states would be awesome, but I think it's a far ways off. We have to see how we deal with the snow here. I think this place is a training ground for our future. I have always loved the saying "Give your children roots and wings", I really got to work on the roots part!!! It is just so fun experiencing new places, I know we could just visit, but there is something so real and unique about incorporating yourself in a new place, it's like you can feel yourself growing and learning, it's cool.
Now my babes..OH I LOVE THEM! I was rocking Lauren this morning so peacefully and all these emotions flooded me. I can remember those first couple weeks of her life, sleeping in the recliner with her on my chest with only the Christmas tree lights on. It was so magical, just holding my baby that I had craved for. There are lots of moments in my mind of holding her and just breathing in her smell and softness. Each night in Vegas before I laid her in her crib, I would just hold her close and sway back and forth, usually welling up with tears for the gratitude and immense love I had for her. I am trying so hard to cherish these days with her being so tiny. Her little smiles and hard laughs when I kiss her tummy while changing her diaper. How she loves clapping, bonking her head against mine, and hearing "The Wheels On The Bus" like it's the most beautiful song she's ever heard. Her groans and hums and squeals as she tries to communicate. Most of all the look in her big round baby eyes when I holkd her close and we smile at each other and I smother her with kisses so she knows her mama loves her so much!
With Julia my memory is so different. I hate to say it but I don't really remember her as a baby. The best I can explain it is, I was absolutely overwhelming drunk with love for her. It was a whirlwind experience becoming a mom, loving my own child that I had dreamed of since being a little girl, and every second of everyday was new and challenging and as much as I tried to take it in, something new would fill it's place in my memory bank. She had me in awe every single day. I think I was able to start really collecting memories of her when she was about 15 months old. I look at her everyday and it seems like a completely different human being than the babe I scrapbooked and journaled about. She is just so incredible!!!! She's beautiful and loving and funny, and wild, and passionate, and creative, and imaginative, and just the most incredible little girl I have ever known!
I love these girls with all my heart, every mom knows what I am talking about, it's truly a miraculous thing to be a mom, even a mom that can't stay in one place for very long!
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3 comments:
I loved reading your post today. So sweet. You are such a good momma.
You have such a way with words. Your girls will grow up feeling so loved. That's so great.
I agree, you are like a novelist. I have a sister that lives in CT and one in NY. Both beautiful places. NY is a little too fast for me, but I heard there are smaller towns. You will grow and learn anywhere you move. Some of the older towns have so much roots especially compared to Vegas.
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